*falls dead laffin....those are hiliarious... [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
<CENTER><font size="5">IS THIS GOING TO HAPPEN TO US???</font>
[img]graemlins/cry_smile.gif[/img]
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the years, they
had shared all kinds of activities and adventures. Lately, their activities
had been limited to meeting a few times a week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and
said, "Now don't get mad at me. I know we've been friends for a long
time, but I just can't think of your name! I've thought and thought, but I
can't remember it. Please tell me what your name is."
Her friend glared at her. For at least three minutes she just stared and glared at her.
Finally she said, "How soon do you need to know?"
*******************
An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep
but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk.
She said, "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep.
A few moments later she said, "Then you used to kiss me."
Irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.
Thirty seconds later she said, "Then you used to bite my neck."
Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed.
"Where are you going?" she asked.
"Damnit woman! To get my teeth!"
***********************
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 77. Please be careful!"
"Hell," said Herman, "It's not just one car.
It's hundreds of them!"
**********************
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car, both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself
"I must be losing it. I
could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was red again.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they sailed on through.
So, she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred, do you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row? You could have killed us both!"
Mildred turned to her and said,
"CRAP!, am I driving?"
*********************
[img]eek.gif[/img]
*falls dead laffin....those are hiliarious... [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
*lmao* that last one was the best !
Ha! That one was good. *L I liked the one about the teeth too. I wonder if there would be any advantage to not lettin' him get them and have him gum-it instead? [img]eek.gif[/img]
BAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
WHEN WERE THAT OLD, I AIN'T LETTING MY HUSBAND SEE MY BODY AND I SURE IN THE HELL DON'T WANNA SEE HIS! GROSS!
[img]eek.gif[/img]
[img]graemlins/hmmm.gif[/img]
COME ON TEE, THINK ABOUT IT!
[img]graemlins/gulp.gif[/img]
Wellllll......now I can think of ONE advantage to seein' each other's bodies - we'd both be assured of a good laugh every now and then.........
Bahhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! [img]biggrin.gif[/img]
****has a ^!@**body****
****struts out of this thread**** [img]tongue.gif[/img]
<font size="4" face="Tempus Sans ITC, Tahoma,sans-serif">[B]Uhhhhhhhh....while yer so busy struttin' there Wild....do keep in mind that what goes UP must come down.......... [img]biggrin.gif[/img]Originally posted by wildnthewind:
****has a ^!@**body****
****struts out of this thread**** [img]tongue.gif[/img]
Bwahhhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahahaha!!!!!!
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